How do I help my students regulate their behaviour?

How do I help my students regulate their behaviour?

Helping students regulate their behaviour starts with understanding that all behaviour is communication, often reflecting un-met needs, lagging skills, or unresolved stress. Here’s a relational, trauma-informed, and culturally responsive approach, integrating the models you're working with:

🔵 1. Start with Safety and Regulation (Dr Bruce Perry – Regulate–Relate–Reason)

Before learning or behaviour change is possible, students must feel physically and emotionally safe. If a student is dis-regulated (angry, anxious, withdrawn), start by helping them return to a regulated state.

Strategies:

• Use calm tone and body language.
  

• Offer co-regulation: sit nearby, breathe together, go for a walk.
  

• Use sensory tools (fidgets, heavy work, calming spaces).
  

• Build predictable routines to reduce anxiety.
  

Remember: You can't reason with a student who's dis-regulated.

🟡 2. Build Connection (Whanaungatanga, CPS Plan B, Zones of Regulation)

Relational trust is the foundation for behavioural growth. Invest in daily connection rituals and genuinely get to know your students — their whānau, culture, interests, and strengths.

Strategies:

• Greet students by name, with warmth and presence.

• Use the Zones of Regulation to create a shared language for emotions.
  

• Include check-ins and emotional literacy in your routine (e.g., “What zone are you in?”).
  

• Practice Plan B conversations when problems arise (more on that below).

🔴 3. Identify the Root Cause (Not Just the Behaviour) – Dr. Ross Greene

Rather than asking "How do I make this behaviour stop?" ask:

"What is getting in the way of this student showing up as their best self?"

Use Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) to uncover:

• Lagging skills (e.g., emotional regulation, flexibility, communication)
  

• Unsolved problems (e.g., noisy environments, social conflict, unmet learning needs)
  

⚫ 4. Use Plan B Conversations (CPS Model)

Instead of reacting to behaviour, work with students to solve problems proactively and collaboratively. Here's a quick guide:

Step 1: Empathy

“I noticed you’ve been walking out of the classroom during group work. What’s going on?”

Step 2: Define the Problem

“I see. The noise makes it hard for you to focus. I also need to make sure everyone is safe and learning.”

Step 3: Invitation to Collaborate

“Can we think of a plan together that helps you focus without feeling overwhelmed, and also keeps the class learning?”

🟢 5. Co-construct Regulation Strategies

Support students to find what helps them regulate — and give them ownership.

Examples:

• “What helps you feel calm again?”
  

• “Would a break card help you?”
  

• “Could we make a toolbox of strategies for when you’re in the red zone?”
  

Create a calm corner or whare of emotions that includes:

• Emotions visuals (Zones)
  

• Whakataukī or karakia for reflection
  

• Sensory tools
  

• Student-made strategies
  

🟠 6. Be Strengths-Based and Culturally Responsive

Use Niho Taniwha and Teaching to the North-East principles:

• Acknowledge identity and whakapapa.
  

• Hold mana-enhancing expectations.
  

• Position students as capable learners with voice in their journey.

✅ 1. Plan B Conversation Template

(From Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions)
Use this when addressing recurring challenging behaviour proactively and relationally.

🧩 Step 1: Empathy (Gather Information)

“I’ve noticed [insert neutral observation]. What’s going on?”

• Listen without judgment.
  

• Don’t rush to fix or correct.
  

• Use prompts: “Can you tell me more about that?” “What’s hard about it?”

🧩 Step 2: Define the Problem

“I hear you. Here’s what I’m concerned about…”

• Explain your perspective or classroom need (e.g., safety, learning environment).
  

• Be honest, calm, and specific.

🧩 Step 3: Invitation to Collaborate

“I wonder if we can come up with a plan that works for both of us?”

• Brainstorm together.
  

• Let the student lead when possible.
  

• Ensure the plan is realistic and re-visitable.

• Tip: Keep these conversations short, focused, and regular — not once-offs.

✅ 2. Zones of Regulation Visual (Editable Tool)

I’ll find you a printable Zones of Regulation visual with:

• The four colour zones (Blue, Green, Yellow, Red)
  

• Common feelings and behaviours in each
  

• Strategy space for student input

1. Zones of Regulation Visuals & Check‑In Tool

Purpose: Create a shared language for emotions, body states, and regulation strategies.

What to include:

• The four zones (Blue, Green, Yellow, Red) with common feelings or body states for each.
  

• Possible strategies (tools) for moving toward or within zones.
  

• A daily check‑in board or cards: students choose which zone they’re in (or moving toward).
  

How to use:

• Teach the zones explicitly, with examples and discussion.
  

• Use the check-in daily (morning, after break, after transitions).
  

• When a student is dysregulated, refer back to the zones (“Which zone are you in right now?”) and help them choose a “tool” to get back toward green.
  

Tip: Make the visuals student‑friendly (with their input). Let them help name feelings or add strategies that work for them.

2. Calm Corner / Regulation Space Setup

Purpose: Give students a safe space to self‑regulate using tools they’ve selected.

What to include:

• Zones of Regulation chart or visuals.
  

• Sensory tools: fidget toys, stress balls, textured materials.
  

• Calm-down options: breathing posters, calming music, visual cues (e.g. “Stop, Breathe, Think”).
  

• Reflecting prompts: “Which zone am I in?”, “What do I need right now?”
  

• Exit signal: something student‑initiated (e.g. a card they can show when ready to return).
  

How to use:

• Teach and practice using the space; walk through how a student might choose to go there.
  

• Use co-regulation (sit beside, breathe together) at first.
  

• Revisit and revise tools with students (what’s working, what isn’t) using Plan B style conversations.

3. Plan B Conversation Template (Simplified)

Use this when a student repeatedly struggles with regulation. You don’t “discipline”, you collaborate.

1. Empathy (Gather information)

“I noticed you [observation]. What’s happening for you?”

2. Define the problem (Your perspective)

“I’m concerned because [impact on class, safety, learning].”

3. Invitation to collaborate

“Can we think together of a plan that helps you and also helps me (and the class)?”

Tips:

• Keep tone calm, curious, nonjudgmental.
  

• Write or draw the plan together.
  

• Check in later: “How’s this plan working for you?”
  

• If the plan isn’t working, go back to Step 3 and rework collaboratively.